CSI Miami Drabbles
by DuplicateMe
Summary: C.S.I. Miami Drabbles. Mostly EricRyan, some other pairings later.
1. Chapter 1

I'm not in any challenges or anything, I'm just writing now. After seeing those box things every where I've decided to I dunno use them I guess. So here's some thing.

---

**002. Kiss**

No one quite knows when the changes took place. It seemed to happen so quickly, or maybe they were all just blind to what was going on in front of them. But before they all knew it and in what seemed out of no where Eric was kissing Ryan. Well not kissing per se more like full blown making out. Ravishing him. Acting as if he was a starving man and Ryan was his first meal in a very long time. It didn't help their already confused if not dazed minds to see Ryan kissing back in turn and with the same if not more fervor.

**003. Moments**

It's moments like this that Ryan loves. Where they could be just walking down the street and out of no where Eric would just grab his hand. It lets him know just how much Eric does love him and it's moments like this when he's glad to be called Eric's and Eric to be called _his_.

**004. Sight**

He stopped blaming Eric ages ago. Or at least that what he's always told himself. But he can't help but feel a little resentful as he hears Calleigh or Eric describing another one of their cases and knowing that he would never be able to feel that same satisfaction of solving a particularly hard case again and he knows that they're really satisfied because it shines out through their voice. He can _hear_ their smile, he can _hear_ their excitement, and he can _**hear**_ their joy. And he can't help but blame Eric just a little bit because he's so tiered of hearing and he just wants to _see_.

**006. Indifference**

You hate the indifference that he shows you. The blank look in his eyes, or the aloof way in which he replies to one of your comments. You try to hurt him. Get a rise out of him. You want to see him angry, but no your not even worth that in his eyes. And god it hurts you this cold indifference that he shows you. It hurts you, and it makes you angry, and it always leaves you wanting to hit something. And in the end you just try harder to get him to look at you with anything, _anything_ in his eyes but that blank look, to just get a rise out of him. And to tell you the truth you'd rather have him hating you again, screaming back at you because even that heated or cold look is better than this indifference in which he seems to show you now.


	2. Chapter 2

Some more Drabbles. You know, just until I can update my stories.

-----

**035. Like Oil and Water**

They were like Oil and Water. So different, incompatible. So what the hell were they doing trying to make this work? They should have known that it wouldn't. Not with all the bad blood between them but for some reason, as different as they were they couldn't keep away from one another. He wanted something real and long lasting, something meaningful, a home of sorts. A place where he could go and feel safe, to some one he could go to and feel loved. He couldn't get that with Eric and he was once again wondering why the hell he was here, right now, trying to fix the damage once again. He realized long ago. They were like oil and water, they could never mix and maybe that's what drew him to Eric and he knew with out a doubt that he was on the long hard road to self destruction.

* * *

**087. Angst**

I suddenly feel as if I can not breath. Like the air has been knocked out of me and my vision swims. How could he do this to me? And my hand on its own accord slowly travels to the soar spot on my cheek. I can tell with out even really touching it that it will bruise, that it is bruising. After all, I've always bruised easily. I can't even look you in the eye, as if I was the one guilty of hitting his partner, but I'm not. No, I'm guilty of staying with you once again because I know that by tomorrow you will be back here, begging for my forgiveness and really I'll be much to weary and tiered to say no.

"We've come this far." you would say.

I'd reply with a nod.

"We mine as well continue."

And just like that I'd be yours again. We'd start over again. You'd buy me roses and records, and as we talk I'll pretend that I don't see you pretending like you don't see the bruise on my face after all it is just one more piece to the collection. I'll feel like maybe you did turn over a new leaf, like this time you really are sorry and we'd go out again, and someone will stare at me again, or flirt again and by time we get home you'll be seething, ready to hit me once more. I'll forgive you of course and you'll go out just to come back home smelling like her. I'll ignore it. Rip your clothes off and push you on the bed. I'll bite you and lick you and make you mine. It'll be my marks replacing hers, my smell instead of her perfume and maybe that's why you do it.


	3. Chapter 3

Some more Drabbles. You know, just until I can update my stories.

---

**015. Time**

Your crashing and you don't know the steps you took to get to this point. And as you spin you wonder where all the time has gone, but you quickly remember that it has gone no where because your too young to have your life flashing before your eyes; and really you've only just begone to live.

But before you can contemplate things further you notice that the car has stopped rolling. But you can't move upside down, with the seat belt digging into your chest and waist. And the world's becoming darker, your breath shallower and you can't help but wonder if they'll find you. If they would even try.

And as your soul leaves your body and you begin to fly away you can't help but feel like you let them down, once again proving them right and you wish and beg for more time.

Time to say things you never did but should have.

Time to tell Horatio that you really look up to him.

Time to tell Calleigh that it's okay, you understand, you missed Tim too.

Time to let Alexx know just how much her friendly smiles helped.

And lastly time to tell Eric that you love him.

And that's it.

That's most important.

You want time to love him.

But it's too late and you've run out of it and really time waits for no one, but you wished it did.

You wished it would wait for you.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Drabbles # 056, 061, 067, 077

Author: Me

Fan dom: CSI Miami

Pairing: (In Order) Eric+Ryan with refrence of EricNatalia

Eric+Ryan with refrence to EricNatalia and hint of RyanOMC,

Tim+Ryan

Eric+Ryan

Rating: PG-13 (for minor swear words, reference to cheating)

Warning: Gay guys. p

Summary: 056. Betrayl can be like a slap to the face.

061. When your feeling down, there's always Natalia.

067. He could still feel it after all this time. Even after he's been buried.

077. He wishes he could just say those three little words and mean it. He wishes he could just come out and say "I remember you."

Disclaimer: I don't own (even though I wish I did).

A/N: Wrote 2007.

* * *

**056. Betrayal**

**  
**

Ryan blinked. Blinked again, this time squeezing his eyes shut hard, before opening them. Praying and hoping that he wasn't seeing what he thought he was seeing. But he guessed it wasn't meant to be because there was Eric lying in bed asleep with an obviously naked Natalia laying her disheveled head on Eric's equally naked shoulder.

Ryan shuddered, clenching his teeth shut not breathing. How could this have happened? He had only been gone for four days, attending a convention in Georgia at the the request of Horatio. The entire time thinking of Eric and counting down the minuets till he could be back in the arms of his lover. Only to come home to **_her_**, in his lovers arms.

He wasn't stupid. He knew that they still flirted and when he had confronted Eric about it he had replied,

"Relax baby, it's just harmless flirting. A way of saying to each other that there's no hard feelings."

Against his better judgment he had let it drop, after all; he trusted Eric and he knew for a fact that Natalia knew about them. And he wasn't as oblivious as some people believed, he saw the looks she gave him. But he had Eric's word, his promise and **God** he had actually believed it when Eric had said he loved him, not Natalia.

But there Eric was. In their bed. Her in his arms. And god, he never felt so heart broken.

He swallowed a sob, held in his tears and quietly set his house key on the table with a note,

_'Came home early._

_Hope she was worth it and don't worry, I won't let this get in the way of work just as long as you don't._

_I'll be by to pick up my stuff later.'_

_- Ryan_

He quietly slipped out, just as unnoticed by the still slumbering Eric as he had when he had slipped in.

How could this have happened? He had gone into the room with the intentions of kissing his lover awake and whispering he was home. He was not expecting to see that.

And it wasn't until he was in the car that he finally allowed himself to cry, because really, he had never felt so _**betrayed**_.

* * *

**061. Lost**

He felt so lost.

He knew that he had promised, not just to Ryan but to himself, that he would not allow their break up to affect him at work.

But god he missed Ryan; and really what had he been _thinking_? Going home with Natalia like that?

He snorts.

Oh he knew what he had been thinking.

He was horny and he was drunk and his lover had not been home to warm his bed in days.

He was a man after all and as a man he needed some kind of stimulation; and wasn't it just his luck that Natalia was there, once again flirting and really who was he to turn her down for drinks?

_"Just as friends of course."_

He snorted again.

Friends.

Sure.

But he can't lie.

He knew what her real intentions were when he had agreed and damn him for giving in, but he was lonely and lost and he missed Ryan so much.

And damn when he had seen Ryan today flirting with that cop he couldn't help but see green and of course he didn't deal with jealousy real well and it shouldn't have been surprising that it would turn into anger and he couldn't help yelling at Ryan, telling him to get to work.

He really wanted to hit himself over the head, especially since he couldn't get that hurt look on Ryan's face out of his head.

But here he was, once again in the bar that had led him into this whole mess.

Once again feeling lonely.

And look.

Just his luck.

Here came Natalia, again. Flirting. **Again**.

And he was just too lost inside himself to tell her no.

* * *

**067. Touch**

**   
**

He swears on all things holy, though that surly mustn't be worth much coming from a gay man, that he could still feel his touch.

Caressing his stomach as he slept.

Massaging his head as it laid there in his lap.

Always, always lingering, like a phantom.

And that's what it was really, wasn't it?

Because really; how does a dead man touch?

* * *

**077. Memories**

**   
**

He felt saddened, looking at these frozen memories and not being able to recall a single one.

He felt lost hearing them speak of something he knew that he should know but not being able to contribute to anything. Forcing a laugh when the others laughed and feeling even more an outcast surrounded by these familiar yet unfamiliar faces.

A quick flash of a wide sunny smile here, bright green eyes there and the sound of a soft husky laugh lost into the wind. But damn he could not remember where he had seen those eyes before. Seen that smile before. Heard that sweet laugh before.

Until now.

And yet he still could not remember.

He could not explain the flashes of the hot and sweaty pale skin that popped into his head.

Or why he continued to hear sweet nothings whispered into his hear.

Saying words that only he could hear.

Having meanings that he should know but did not.

Why the eyes that looked so familiar in his dreams seemed so alike to those that he saw on the face of that beautiful man who called himself Ryan.

He wondered how that face he could barley remember when he was awake could hold absolutely none of the same emotion of the only thing he could remember when he was asleep.

He wanted to cry and scream and yell like a child.

_'Why can't I remember?!'_

And softer yet.

_'Why don't I have any memories?'_


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Drabbles # 020, 099, 023

Pairing: (In Order) Eric+Ryan

Eric-Ryan

EricRyan

Warning: Gay guys. p

Summary: 020. He needed him.

099. This feeling was just...

023. Who ever said it was harder to hate than to love has obviously never met Ryan Wolfe.

Disclaimer: I don't own (even though I wish I did).

A/N: Wrote 2007.

* * *

**020. Need**

Eric was like a drug, as cliched as that sounded.

He was like a bad habit that Ryan just couldn't kick.

He was constantly there.

_Everywhere._

When he turned the corner into the lab at work.

When he shopped at the local Wal-Mart.

When he closed his eyes to sleep.

It made him nervous how much he needed these encounters though.

And really if he would just open his eyes then he would see.

He would see that Eric needed him just as much.

* * *

**099. Writers Choice: Feeling**

It couldn't be placed. These feelings of his. They were so new and he wasn't even positive if something so strong could have a name.

He hated it.

He hated this emotion what ever the hell it was with his entire being.

Maybe if he got it when he was around someone else.

When he heard someone else's voice.

Looked into someone else's eyes, but no- he wasn't that lucky.

Of course he'd get all tingly when he saw _him_.

Of course shivers would shoot up his spine once he heard his voice.

And wasn't it just his luck that the world would disappear every time he looked into those beautiful green mesmerizing eyes.

He sighed and shook his head.

The gods must be laughing at him.

* * *

**023. Hatred**

His whole being drummed with the feeling.

It flowed through him, much like his blood, from his toes to his head.

It was always like this when ever Wolfe was around and it made him bare his teeth.

He hated him.

At first he hated Wolfe because he had came right after Tim had died.

But it grew to be more than that.

He hated the way Wolfe smiled.

He hated the way his eyes would grow wide when he was surprised.

He hated Wolfe's hair.

The sound of his voice.

His laugh.

How cocky he was for a rookie.

He hated him.

He really did.

He'd never felt this kind of hatred for anyone before.

It was so strong and it empowered him.

Giving him the strength to look away from Wolfe's shiny lips after he licked them.

Giving him the strength to ignore that little jab of regret he felt when ever he exercised that hatred.

Giving him the strength to get out of the bed and to leave Wolfe behind.

He hated Wolfe.

He hated him because it was so much easier than loving him.

Location:Up stairs


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Drabbles # 007, 078, 083, 084, 088, 091

Author: ezrat

Fan dom: CSI Miami

Pairing: (In Order) Eric+Ryan

Eric+Ryan with a hint of RyanOMC

Ryan-Eric

Ryan-Eric

Ryan-Eric

Eric+Ryan

Rating: PG13 to R

Warning: Cheating spouses, hint of rape and character death.

Summary: 007. His one true love was his lovers laughter.

078. Secrets can eat at you.

083. He's sacraficed so much and has lost himself in the process.

084. He dosen't know why this rejection hurt so much.

088. And when his tears dried up he realized he could shed no more.

091. He always knew that he and his lover would not last forever.

Disclaimer: I don't own (even though I wish I did).

A/N: Wrote 2007.

* * *

**007. Laughter**

He loved Ryan's laughter.

And who couldn't when he had so many different kinds.

Like the soft bashful laughter. The kind that was accompanied by the subtle tilt of Ryan's head so he could look at Eric through his lashes.

Or the nervous chuckle that usually went hand in hand with Ryan pulling at his collar and showing just a bit of his soft pale chest.

Then there was Eric's favorite.

The loud joyful laughter. The kind that made Ryan squint his eyes and bend over to catch his breath.

Yes, he loved Ryan's laughter and he felt blessed to be able to hear it.

* * *

**078. Secrets**

He didn't want to keep such a big secret from his lover.

But really, what was he to say?

It's not like he could just blurt it out.

He had far too much to lose if he did, and call him selfish but he didn't want his lover to think any less of him.

He wanted to tell him.

Really he did.

But some secrets are best kept as such.

Because really, who lets their lovers best-friend rape them?

* * *

**083. Sacrifice**

He had sacrificed so much when he had finally decided to move here to Miami.

He had given up his sisters respect.

His mothers trust.

His fathers love.

And when he had first met Eric Delko he had thought for the first time that maybe it all would all be worth it.

He didn't realize it at the time that in order to be with Eric he would have to sacrifice so much more.

Like his pride.

His self worth.

His beliefs.

But in the end when Eric had finally said _"I love you" _he knew that it had all been worth it.

That is, until he caught Eric cheating on him with Calleigh.

He would have been more forgiving of Eric if he would have just cheated on him with Natalia, at least then he would have known that it really had not meant anything.

But for Eric to cheat on him with Calleigh cut deep.

Too deep for words, because he knew that before he had come Eric had felt strongly for her.

And maybe he was just a fool to believe that he could be all the Eric had needed.

All that Eric could ever want.

And when he was finally leaving Miami for Vegas it really hit him just how much he had sacrificed over the years.

He had sacrificed bits of pieces of himself for so long that he no longer even knew who he was.

Who he would be when he finally got to Vegas.

* * *

**084. Rejection  
**

He stood there stiff a smile frozen on his face.

He was tense as he walked away and ignored the laughter that followed him down the hall.

And really what had he been thinking?

Asking Delko out like that?

Not that he was asking for a date specifically after all he had only asked if he had wanted to go out for beers.

But Delko had made it seem like so much more than that.

With a snide smile upon his full lips he fained surprise raising his voice,

_"What is this?_

_Wolfe asking me out?"_

Ryan had tried to deny it.

Tried to keep his face from flaming though he knew the fight was futile.

Eric kept on, a satisfied gleam in his eye once he realized he had an audience.

_"Well I'm sorry Wolfe but I just don't swing that way you catch my drift?_

_I love the ladies after all._

_But I'm sure my sister has a friend that would just __love__ to go out for __"drinks"._

_That is what your type is calling it now-a-days right?"_

And as he went on and on like that Ryan grew more and more tense until he could take no more.

Which led him to where he was right now.

In a deserted bathroom stall and crying silently.

What was wrong with him?

All he wanted was to go out for beers.

Try and be friends and yeah he had hoped for more but he had been willing to be patient.

He had planned to let Eric get to know him and hopefully realize that Ryan wasn't the cocky show-off that he believed him to be.

He didn't need to embarrass Ryan so bad like he had just done.

But it was okay.

Ryan's eyes were finally opened and he now got the hint.

He wasn't wanted.

Wasn't liked.

And yeah, he realized that this rejection shouldn't have hurt so bad since it was one in a long line of many.

The thought didn't stop him from feeling the pain though.

* * *

**088. Tears**

His tears had never tasted so bitter the they did in that moment.

How could he have been so stupid?

So blind?

He cried all the harder.

Deep shuddering sobs.

How could he have just let him go?

Walk away from everything that they had built together?

After all the years they put into making this work he just let him walk away.

Didn't even try and call him back.

He was a fool and he didn't deserve the love if he wasn't really trying to fight for it.

But god he had fought for so long.

Gotten hurt so damn much and now he was just so damn tired.

And when he finally calmed down, his breath finally slowing, he touched his face and realized it was dry.

He had no more tears left.

And he had no more fight.

* * *

**091. Death**

He had expected this for a long time.

He knew that this couldn't go on forever.

They just had too much staked against them.

Homophobic cops.

Angry superiors.

Weary coworkers.

He knew eventually that something would tear them away from one another.

His lovers wandering eye.

His OCD.

They had far too many differences and the only real thing that they shared in common was their love for the work place.

He always knew that it would end.

That one day his lover would just up and leave him.

Or he would just give up on them.

But when ever he predicted these different reasons for breaking up there was always one difference from the reality.

He always pictured them both alive.

He would have never guessed that one of them would be dead.

That the thing to finally take his lover away from him would be death.

But then again, he always knew that his lover would leave him.

And really, death was just the easier way of doing it.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Drabbles #012, 024, 040, 075

Author: ezrat

Fan dom: CSI Miami

Pairing: (In Order) 012. Ryan-Eric

024. Eric+Ryan, EricNatalia

040. Eric-Ryan

075. Ryan-Eric

Rating: R

Warning: Character Death. Cheating Spouses. Angst.

Summary: 012. And Ryan screamed for all that he was worth.

024. He could forgive Delko of almost anything. Even the lies.

040. If they had met under different circumstances would the feelings still be the same?

075. And he tapped it back together. Because really, what else could you do with a shattered heart?

Disclaimer: I do own the circumstances. I don't own the people.

A/N: Wrote 2007.

---

**012. Scream**

He wanted to scream and shout.

He wanted to raise his hands above his head and just let it all loose.

_'Why?'_

He wanted to cry.

_'Why now?'_

He wanted to ask.

_'Why him?'_

But he couldn't.

He had to be strong.

Strong for sobbing Calleigh.

Strong for silently crying Alexx.

And strong for the stoned faced but obviously grieving Horatio.

He had to be strong.

But God Almighty must have seen that he just wanted to fall upon his knees and sob like a child.

Sighing he rubbed his haggard face.

And when he looked up he saw a sight that made his heart beat faster.

He walked to the obviously regretful doctor and he knew.

He knew that he had not made it.

Eric Delko was dead.

The man he loved was dead.

And then he did scream

He screamed until his voice was horse.

He cried until he had not tears left.

He did not care that his knees were bruised, or that his skin was ripped raw.

He did not care.

He could no longer be strong.

And he screamed some more, not caring for the blood that pooled in his mouth.

And when the world went dark he continued to scream.

He screamed in silence.

---

**024. Lies**

He ignored the knowing looks of the people around him.

The whispers behind his back.

He knew he was being foolish, allowing himself to be hurt over and over again.

But what the people didn't realize was that he and Eric had come to an understanding.

As long as no one was there to contradict his lies then Ryan wouldn't care.

As long as he could pretend that Eric had a good reason for not being home in bed with him, then he wouldn't cry as much.

Yell as much.

Hurt as much.

As long as he could pretend that he didn't see the lingering touches.

The secret smiles.

Or smell the sex or her perfume then he could forgive Eric's lies.

He could remain blissfully oblivious.

And immune.

Immune to Eric Delko's lies.

---

**040. Strangers**

Some times he wonders if things would have turned out differently if the circumstances had been better.

If he and Ryan had just been two strangers who bumped into each other on the street.

Would Ryan have dropped something?

Would he have helped him to pick it up?

Would their hands have touched?

Would Ryan blush?

Would he smirk and would Ryan be shy?

If they had been strangers would they have had a chance?

Would they have exchanged numbers?

Promising to call one another?

Set up a date?

Kissed?

Held hands?

Loved one another?

If the circumstances had been different would they have been happier?

If Tim were alive would he have ever me Ryan at all?

He couldn't help but wonder to himself as he watched Ryan once again through the glass walls.

If they had been strangers would they still have skirted around one another as they did now?

---

**075. Shattered**

He picked the shatterd pieces of the broken glass from the floor.

Walked them to sink not caring that they cut his hands to shreds and not even blinking as his blood stained his crisp white carpet.

He gently set the broken pieces under the faucet and washed them till they were as clean as they would get.

He glued it back together again and once he was done he stood back to admire his masterpiece.

It was broken and dirty and ugly.

Forever changed from the beautiful piece it had once been.

It would never sparkle as it once had.

Reflect the bright light as it had done so many times before.

It was sharp where it should be smooth and fogged where it should be clear.

He smiled, picking it up and cradling it close to the gaping bloody hole in his chest.

And handed it to Eric once more with a shy smile upon his face.

And waited for it be dropped and shattered by Eric once again.

'But it would be okay', he thought to himself.

After all he did have the glue in his pocket and the gauze ready for his hands.


	8. Chapter 8

**005. Mess**

**--- **

He felt empty, sad and alone. And he knew that this was the lowest he would ever come. He had nothing. No friends, no family and sadly no love. He was jobless and a failure. He couldn't even look himself in the eye anymore. Not after all that he had done. He realized that Eric had been right. All this time Eric had seen past what even he had fooled himself into seeing. He was a failure. A no talent hack too busy trying to prove himself.

He sighs, eyes not looking up as he placed his hands on the bathroom sink bowl.

Timothy Speedle had left too big of shoes to fill and he had been a fool for trying to take on the challenge. He should have known that he wouldn't make it. That he would screw up sooner and later, and he wiped his face. Horatio had been an obvious godsend. Giving him more chances than he deserved. He didn't hold it against the man that he had been laid off. There was no way Horatio could have down played what was right there in everybody's face.

His fist went flying into the mirror and he stood still, breathing hard. Finally looking up into the mirror he found himself strangely transfixed by the distorted image of himself. He did not even blink twice at the pain in his hand, didn't even shudder as the blood stained his pristine white carpet as he slowly walked away from his sink and sank to the floor in the tight spot between his toilet and his bathtub.

Ignoring the sharp pain of his bloody hand he fisted his hair, and banged his head against the wall behind him.

_How could he have been so foolish? _

_So dumb and careless? _

_Didn't he realize that what he was doing could affect his work? _

And now because of his stupid mistake many guilty people may be freed.

With a humorless chuckle, he realized that the distorted image of himself in the broken mirror resembled his jumbled mind and emotions. He was a broken wreck and he didn't deserve fixing. Finally after siting for some moments he stood, looking to himself in the mirror once more and not caring to clean the blood now staining his face, he left the bathroom, the bottle of his anxiety medicine clutched firmly in his one good hand. He was on auto-pilot dodging chairs and tables, and in his current state of mind he was much like a robot, not even hearing the ringing of his phone. He walked into the kitchen grabbing a big cup of water and with out hesitation he swallowed all fifty of his pills.

_"The only way to fix a mess,"_ his mother had once said to him _"is to get rid of it quickly so that it can not spread it's filth any further."_

And damn it he was a mess.

Spreading his filth everywhere.

Harming innocent people.

He didn't know why he didn't see it before but as he sank on the floor, eyes going black around the edges he realized he would never really have to wonder again after tonight. And for the first time he smiled. Not even hearing his answering machine go.

"Ryan? It's me Eric. I'm coming over okay?...And Ryan? I'm sorry. I love you y'know? I'll see you in a bit"


	9. Song Fic 'Irreplaceable' by Beyonce

_Irreplaceable lyrics by Beyonce._

_To the left_

_To the left_

_To the left_

_To the left_

_To the left_

_To the left_

Ryan watched Eric with cool eyes. This was it. This was the end.

_Everything you own in the box to the left_

_In the closet that's my stuff - Yes_

_If I bought it please don't touch_

_And keep talking that mess, that's fine_

_But could you walk and talk at the same time_

_And It's my mine name that is on that Jag_

_So remove your bags let me call you a cab_

Any one could see that Ryan was pissed as he instructed Eric on what was his and what wasn't. And any body who knew the story behind the event would understand why. Ryan had put up with so much of Eric's shit, non stop, and he was always there by Eric's side. But this time Eric had gone too far and now it was time for him to go.

When Ryan felt that Eric had been taking to long to get something he went to check in on him and when he saw that it was something that he had bought he took it out if Eric's box.

He ignored Eric's protest and he'd put them back in it's rightful place.

_'Forget it Eric,'_ Ryan thought, _'not this time'._

_Standing in the front yard telling me_

_How I'm such a fool - Talking about_

_How I'll never ever find a man like you_

_You got me twisted_

Ryan snorted at the words that spewed from between Eric's lips because that's all he could do really. Eric was in his face saying that he was a fool to let him get away but all Ryan could think was that if he was such the fool then how come it wasn't all _his_ shit being moved?

He snorted again.

Eric just had no idea what Ryan was capable of.

_You must not know about me_

_You must not know about me_

_I could have another you in a minute_

_matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby_

Ryan was quick to rush Eric out of the house. And he was not ashamed to say that he had already moved on, that he had another man coming. He was unabashed to say just what kind of a man he had coming and exactly what it was that they would be doing once Eric was gone.

Ryan enjoyed the way Eric's muscles tensed as he described just what he would do to his new man and he smiled at the pinched look on Eric's face.

Oh yes.

Pay back was a bitch and Ryan was proud to say he was dealing it back to Eric in spades.

_You must not know about me_

_You must not know about me_

_I can have another you by tomorrow_

_So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable_

Oh he knew that Eric was a conceited bastard when they had started dating but damn it he was Ryan's conceited bastard. He knew that Eric had believed that he was a one of a kind type of man and for quite a while Ryan had believed it too.

It wasn't until just recently that Ran had in fact realized that Eric wasn't unique.

He was just another dog roaming the streets and playing his game and like and idiot he had fallen for it.

But you know what?

Ryan didn't need Eric and guys like him were a dime-a-dozen.

He could just got find him another conceited bastard.

And he felt giddy telling Eric so.

He felt excited letting Eric know just _how_ replaceable he was.

And just how quick he could do it.

_So go ahead and get gone_

_And call up on that chick and see if she is home_

_Oops, I bet ya thought that I didn't know_

_What did you think I was putting you out for?_

_Cause you was untrue_

_Rolling her around in the car that I bought you_

_Baby you dropped them keys hurry up before your taxi leaves_

It still hurt to think about how Eric had cheated on him. Oh hew knew that Eric didn't know that knew but he did. He had been out with some friends when he had seen Eric at a red light. That wasn't so surprising. What was surprising was the girl he was with.

It was Natalia and she was kissing on his neck.

He was more pissed though because he couldn't believe that Eric had the audacity to be with that whore.

And in the car that Ryan himself had bought no less!

He smirked at the shocked expression on Eric's face as he told Eric exactly why it was the he was being kicked out.

And he smirked even harder as the taxi honked.

It was time for Eric to go.


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: **Drabbles # 013, 014, 022

**Author: **ezra t aka me the great CG**  
**

**Fandom: **C.S.I. Miami

**Rating: **R

**Warning: **Angst

**Summary:** _013. Eric wonders when it all stopped being enough._

_014. Eric gave it to Ryan and now he wouldn't take it back on his life._

_022. Ryan knew that it would be too much in the end and still he fought on._

**Disclaimer:** I do own the circumstances. I don't own the people.

**A/N:** Wrote 2007.

**---**

**013. Not Enough **

The sorry's and the pleas would never be enough any more.

Nor the silent tears or the missing words.

Everything was broken now, shattered at his feet like a pile of broken beer bottles.

How had he gotten to this point?

Where not even the quiet "I love yous." were enough to make him smile.

The look in his lovers eyes weren't enough any longer, and he wonders when that explosion in his chest dwindled down to nothing but a flickering flame.

Because the lord knew that his lovers touch was no longer enough.

The fevered kisses were no longer enough.

The smiles, the caresses, the secret looks.

None of it mattered any more.

None of it was enough.

And yet he couldn't leave.

And as he sat in his dark room with out a sound but that of his slumbering lover he wondered.

When had Ryan become not enough?

**---**

**014. Heart**

He didn't have a heart any longer.

It simply was no longer in his chest.

And he only had himself to blame.

After all he had willingly given it to Ryan.

And he'd never been so happy in his life.

**---**

**022. Too Much**

The lies were to much.

The yelling was too much.

The tears.

The screams.

The late nights crying.

They were all too much.

What did he see in that man any ways?

He obviously wasn't right for him.

But true to his name he was so much like a wolf.

And he wouldn't be denied.

Even when he knew that in the end, the heartache would simply be too much.


	11. Chapter 11

**Title:** Drabbles # 009, 010, 011

**Rating:** R

**Warning:** Angst, Cheating

**Summary:** _009. Ryan catches Eric in a compromising position with fellow coworker._

_010. Awakening. Eric comes to some realizations and feels like his eyes have been opened for the very first time in a very long time._

_011. Messenger. Someone gets some bad news._

**Disclaimer:** I do own the circumstances. I don't own the people.

**A/N:** Wrote 2008.

**---**

**009. Soothing**

There was no soothing the ache he felt in his chest this time and Ryan turned his head away in disgust from the sight laid out before him.

This was it.

After everything he had been put through, after everything he had endured: the fights, the yelling, the feeling like an outcast, someone unwanted; it all came down to this.

This.

Him leaving his lover in the arms of another person.

And not just any person but Calleigh, a _woman_ of all things.

He didn't even bother to cover up the pain in his eyes let alone the hate.

And no amount of sorries, or pleas or what-have-yous would be able to soothe the churning in his stomach or the burning behind his eyes.

This was it and there was no soothing the pain he felt or the shattered heart he was leaving behind.

**---**

**010. Awakening**

His eyes shot open and he could do nothing but stare up at the white chipped cealing above him.

Here he was thirty-two, gasping for air and wondering why he had never felt like this before.

And now of all times, in the arms of a frisky hazel eyed beauty.

He was an adult for chrissake and he was just now feeling these type of things, thinking these types of things.

And about Wolfe no less!

But could he really be blamed for the split second that his eyes decided to replace the pale skinned dark haired women above him with the arrogant and oh so annoying rookie from his team?

And as both he and the women came down from their after glow he took a mental step back and thought to himself,

'Yes. He could be blamed.'

And with that realization he felt like he was awakening from a very long and denial filled dream.

**---**

**011. Messenger**

Usually he enjoyed getting messages.

It was always so exciting, getting to read something someone sent to you and just knowing for that split moment someone had thought of you.

It made him feel warm, happy... loved.

But today wasn't an ordinary day, though it started out so.

He never imagined that when he came home from the store that a man would be at his door.

Not just any man but a man in uniform.

He never imagined that the smile would be wiped from his face and all the food he had just bought would fall to the floor.

He never imagined that that morning would be the last morning he would would ever wake up next to his lover.

Cook him breakfast.

Kiss his nose.

See his roughish smile or twinkling eyes.

He never imagined this morning would be the last time he would ever hear his lover say 'I love you'.

Or say it back in return.

And never so much had he hated mail.

Let alone wanting to shoot the messenger.


	12. Chapter 12

**Title:** Drabbles # 021, 033, 100

**Rating:** R

**Warning:** Angst, Cheating, love and fluffy-ness

**Summary:** _021. He thought he meant it when he said it, now he wasn't so sure._

_033. He thought he was going crazy and hearing voices was just the beginning._

_100. The changes were subtle but worth every moment and every kiss. They worth everything including leading up to this._

**Disclaimer:** I do own the circumstances. I don't own the people.

**A/N:** Wrote 2008.

**---**

**021. Broken**

_'You said that you loved me. We both know that that's impossible.'_

_- **Resolve by Kat Reitz and Tzigane**_

He was left there, standing alone, wet and in the rain. The words his lover now ex lover said to him still ringing in his ears.

It wasn't suppose to be this way. He wasn't suppose to fall in love. At least that what he thought this feeling was.

But he knew with some dread that the words his lover had spoken held a grain of truth.

He was Eric Delko after all, he wasn't the type to settle down and not with a man any less.

But his heart seized at the look, and a lump formed in his throat at those broken words.

He thought he had meant it when he had said it, but temptation was far to easy to fall into, and when your drunk and surrounded by hot sweating bodies and your lover is no where in sight, you tend to lose yourself.

And oh god it was so easy for him to lose himself.

It felt like second nature to him, to grab hold of the soft body and pull it close to his.

It felt natural to kiss along her neck and to whisper into her ear.

It felt natural to bring her to his home and into his bed.

Just as it had felt natural to give his long time lover his key.

It felt natural, but you never expected him to use it, let alone that night.

And now, here he stood, a drenched man with a dull ache in his chest and a newly broken man weighing heavily on his soul.

**---**

**033. Voice**

There it was again.

That voice in his head.

Whispering to him.

Telling him.

Warning him.

Taunting him.

He didn't know why he heard this specific voice.

It would have made much more sense to have heard Alexx's voice.

After all she was like a mother to him.

Even Calleigh's, since she was so much like the annoying older (if not sometimes younger) sister.

**Hell!**

Even Horatio's would have made sense since Ryan looked up to the man.

But _no_.

He had to hear Eric-fucking-Delko's voice in his head.

Always, always when he wanted to go out.

Or go home with someone.

It was like it was stopping him from having fun.

Maybe even stopping him from doing something stupid.

But it all came down to one thing.

Why the hell would he hear Eric's voice?

It's not like the man cared about him any ways.

_Right?_

**---**

**100. Writer's Choice**

The change was very subtle.

So subtle that they didn't even realize it themselves until they were neck deep in it, and of course by then it was too late to do anything about it.

Not that they wanted to by that point.

Nobody could really say when the change happened but it didn't stop people from trying to pin point the exact moment.

It was never ending really because one day some one would come up with something and the next some one else would come up with an event that had occurred before that one.

Eric and Ryan didn't really care exactly when the change happened, they just cared that it did.

And that it led them here to this point.

To this moment.

With one man facing the other in clean cut tuxes.

They pretended that they didn't see the openly crying Alexx or the shiny eyed Calleigh.

They even ignored the very rare but none the less bright smile upon Horatio's face in favor for looking into each others smarting eyes.

They couldn't be bothered with the technicalities of the beginning of their relationship because here, in this moment was what was most important.

They pretended to ignore the hooting coming from the direction of their friends from Vegas in favor for their whispered vows.

And when Eric finally slipped the ring onto Ryan's finger and they kissed for the first time as man and husband they both realized that it was here.

That it was now, that something bigger was beginning.

They forgot about the subtle change of their relationship and traded in those first memories for these.

Because it was this change that was most important.


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Drabbles # 016, 017, 050

Rating: R

Warning: Fluffy-ness

Summary: 016. It turns out books weren't all he needed.

017. Different went hand in hand with being Ryan Wolfe.

050. Dreams.

Disclaimer: I do own the circumstances, I don't own the characters.

A/N: Wrote 2008.

**---**

**016. Books**

All his life he only ever had his books. They were the only things always there and they fulfilled him in ways people never could. He knew that if he had tried harder that he could have made at least some friends while growing up, but he never truly wanted to. He enjoyed being on the outskirts, just out of reach, and only capable of looking in. He saw so much more that way. And what he saw only made his choice seem that much more right. People were bad. That's just how they were, and more often than not they never really knew they were.

He accepted the fact that he would never have anyone to confide in, to feel that special bond with another person that he so often read about, but he could live with that. He knew he could and so he did. All the way through high school, long past college and even after the Academy his books were all he had, all he ever needed. He lived his life believing that it would always be so, and he liked it that way. It wasn't an eventful life by any means but it was always so endearing to be able to read his books and live his life through all those wonderful characters. He didn't need any human contact, not when he could just imagine the touch, he didn't need any sweet or comforting words, not when he could read them in a book. He enjoyed his solitude, nice, calm, and quiet the way it was. It's how he planned to live the rest of his life as well.

Not once did he ever think that he would ache for the touch of another, to hear such sinful words whispered into his ear. No amount of reading could prepare his for the tingle that coursed through his body or the warmth that he could feel hours after a touch. Reading it in a book was one thing but feeling it, living it was another. No book could prepare him for Eric. None. But they sure did give him good ideas.

**---**

**017. Different**

He'd always been different. It's something both he and his mother had grown to accept together. First with his O.C.D. and later with his anti socialism all through out his school years. Being different went hand in hand with being Ryan, so when he decided that he preferred to look at Eric's ass rather than Calleigh's well he just accepted it. Called his mom and talked about Miami, the weather and finally work and when she asked if there was anything he new wanted to tell her about he did,

"Eric looked sexy today but that's nothing new, what about you mom?"

And that was that. She 'hmmed' and went on talking, telling him about Ms. Patterson and how she had a nice looking son if he was interested. It was no big deal. Ryan was different, he knew that and he would always know that. And just like his mom had always told him, different wasn't necessarily bad.

**---**

**050. Dreams**

They were kissing again, their passion pouring off of them in waves.

They were supposed to be working right then but Ryan had did his little look.

The look that said 'I want to do something naughty.'

And so of course Eric flashed him his grin back in reply.

It didn't take them but two minuets to find an empty closet and to go at it again.

-

They were walking down the street, hand-in-hand with their heads thrown back in laughter.

All those who passed by them could see that they were in love.

-

Ryan was dreaming again.

He seemed to be doing that more and more often.

Imagining things that could have been, should have been, if it had not been for his pride.

But as he lay there with a heart felt sigh he realized with a heavy heart.

He and Eric would never be more than their arguments.

Never more than their angry words or their heated looks.

There was no fooling the tension for passion.

No.

He and Eric would always be enemies.

They were made to be enemies.

Trapped by their own pride and arrogance.

-

He was alone.

His dreams showing him a world he could only ever hope for.


End file.
